butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
