Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
