God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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