Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
