i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
