I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
