"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
