I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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