K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize