Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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