Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
