She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
