Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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