i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have already put on my inside pants.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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