Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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