She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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