You work out of a Hotel?
i was born a porn star she said
why do cheetos always look like penises
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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