we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
