id be glad to
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
