remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
