i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
