he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize