Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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