exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
