found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
17 year olds will be the death of me.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
