loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
