Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
