Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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