Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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