i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
