In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize