Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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