I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
