We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
