If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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