peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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