You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
