U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
