Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
