we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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