i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
