just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
