I'm pants shitting drunk right now
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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