Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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