I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
