from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
