Can Purell be used as lube?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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