how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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