i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I look better un-naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize