he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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