I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
