you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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