So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
