i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
