I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
