love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
