I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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