and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
