Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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