sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
