He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize