The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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